Explanations
by fingertips on my warm skin
Summary: Thanksgiving. Perhaps the worst holiday of the year-for Kim, at least. When everything she's ever known seems twisted and wrong, she turns to the one person who accepts her no matter what. Kim/Jack Three-shot, little steamy, no smut. Goes from deep, to passionate, to heart breaking. A little bit like a rollercoaster. :) Well worth the read, I gues. :D
1. Comfort and Kisses

When life throws a turkey at you, don't try to make lemonade.

As Kim trudged through the cold but beautifully colorful streets of Seaford, she mentally cursed the Pilgrims. Screw them and their stupid thanksgiving tradition. They must've been on Indian crack or something if they thought that Thanksgiving would bring families together.

_"At least I didn't try to abort my own kid at seventeen, _Alexandra!_" The shouted exclamation, coming from Aunt Charlotte infamous mouth, shocked the table into silence. I slowly turned to my angry, red-faced mother, a cold, sinking feeling settling in the pit of my stomach._

_"I was a mistake?" I squeaked out to her, the third female standing at the twenty-some seater table, filled with all my maternal relatives. _

_Mom's blond curtain of hair, the same golden shade as my own but straighter than mine would ever be, covered her face, her stance strict and defensive. "I don't want to discuss this here, Kim."_

_"Is Dad my real father? I spit out at her. "Or is he just some guy you married to raise your child?"_

_"Your dad is not your real father, Kimberly. Now. Sit. Down!"_

_Granma's hand rested softly on my upper arm, the same hazel eyes passed through my mom's family gazing at me sadly. "Come now, Kim. It's okay." she whispered._

_I'm a mistake. I'm a mistake. I'm a mistake._

_The world seemed like a dream, a kaleidoscope of lies. No wonder we didn't talk too much about Mom's younger days. No wonder I looked nothing like my dad. I didn't have a lick of his green eyes and black hair, or his sense of humor or even his love of spicy food-no more wondering about why I always got along with Dad's family but everything about my mom's family was mixed with lies and secrets and a general sense that everyone except for Gran desperately wanted to be somewhere else._

_Fifteen years._

_"You could've at least told me, Mom." I said sickeningly quiet, pushing back from the table and walking slowly to the beautiful turkey that Mom and I had made in tense silence no more than an hour ago. I grabbed the huge steak knife and thrust it into the turkey the same way that those words had thrust themselves into my heart, right before I spun and ran out of the house, leaving the whole damn mess behind._

_I needed to think._

That was about two hours ago, Kim judged, wrapping her arms around herself and shivering in the cold winds. Now she was going to the only place that she could kill things and not get in trouble-

The dojo.

Kim wasn't in the right outfit for it, true (her off the shoulder white sweater and skinny jeans with the British flag on the back pockets was going to be hard to kick butt in) but she didn't care. Clothes, schmothes, she needed this.

The small jingling on the teeny tiny bell Rudy had installed a month ago announced her presence in her frequent hang out after school, the welcome hum of the air conditioner and the comforting smell of hard work and sweat calming Kim slightly. Her heart was still in turmoil after the whole discovery about her birth, and being somewhere this familiar and dear to her was like a balm to her heart.

Kim was tough, sure-but everyone breaks down now and again. No one is truly impenetrable to everything. We all need somebody-or something-to lean on.

Dropping her bag on one of the chairs near the front entrance, Kim kicked off her white flats and headed for the blue lockers, hoping that it held a change of clothes. Her efforts rewarded, she gathered the lavender long sleeved shirt and grey yoga pants to her chest and walked to the changing room, but halted almost instantly.

Did Kim's ears deceive her, or was there someone else in the dojo? The lights were all off, true, with the only illumination coming from the waning moon outside the dojo's doors, but that soft glow filled the dojo in such a way that one wouldn't need light to train; Kim herself hadn't turned on the lights, after all.

The rustling got louder, and Kim's honey brown eyes widened when none other than a shirtless Jack Brewer rounded the corner from the changing rooms. He didn't notice her at first, wiping the sweat from the back of neck, deep in his own world-Jack was so close Kim could smell his distinct scent, a warm tingle of smell that, when inhaled, felt like ginger incarnate, before he noticed her.

"Kim!" he said, slightly shocked. "Hey didn't notice you, sorry about that." Jack rubbed his neck in embarrassment this time, and Kim flashed back to a few weeks ago, when they were first invited to work on that movie. Jack and Kim were still as close as ever, but when they were alone sometimes, things seemed to turn awkward.

The fact that Jack had apparently 'lost' his shirt and the way that Kim's eyes couldn't help following his softly planed abs to the v disappearing down into his low-slung black jeans wasn't helping the situation. The white rim of his Calvin Klein boxers peeked out over the empty belt loops of his jeans and Kim felt the air heat up by a couple degrees.

Forcing her eyes up to his face, a good two inches taller than her own, Kim's brown eyes locked with Jack's own melted molasses ones and the tears she'd been trying to suppress ever since her mom admitted that Kim's birth wasn't wanted sprang to her eyes.

Jack's own eyes were cloudy with something that was obviously bothering him, but that didn't stop him from grasping her upper arms gently, thumbs skimming the exposed skin of her shoulder. "Kim. Whats wrong?"

Kim shook her head, the edges of her wavy blond hair tickling the edges of her shoulder blades, unable to express what she was feeling. "I-I-" she tried to choke out, but the words didn't come.

Jack understood. Without Kim saying a word he wrapped his arms around her, the clothes in Kim's arms dropping to the floor with the sudden motion. Jack crushed the somewhat broken blond girl to his chest, pulling her as close as possible and tucking her head under his chin, rocking her, holding her in the way that Kim desperately needed to be held.

This was why they were so close. No matter what the circumstance, they understood, respected, and were always there for each other, no matter what the issue was, or who caused it, or whether it was a big deal or not. They were like two halves of a heart, fitting together against all odds, always as a whole.

Kim's own arms snaked their way around his lithe waist, the thin sheen of sweat that existed on his skin not deterring her in anyway. Her body trembled with dry sobs and Jack just held her tight and rocked her back and forth, murmuring to her with encouragement when the tears finally subsided.

"Jack." Kim reached up and cupped his face in her hands. She studied each mole and dimple on him, every twinkle in his eye and every curl on his head. She probably shouldn't be doing this-especially when she was so high on emotion-but she had to. It was the only thing Kim could think of to block this, to block all of it, out.

She leaned forward, stood on her tiptoes, and kissed him.

In an instant, Jack was everywhere, his fingers grazing the gap between her sweater and jeans, his hand leaving trails of fire against her skin, Kim's hands dug so deep into his hair that they were a part of it, the way they pressed each other so close that they were almost one person and they kissed, oh they kissed. They tasted each other for the first time, and were addicted in a less than a second, devouring all another, pouring all of their emotions into telling each other how they felt without using words.

Finally, they pulled apart, and their foreheads rested together, Kim and Jack's breath mingling as they stared at each other with equal parts disbelief and wonder.

"Did you enjoy that as much as I did?" Jack whispered to Kim in a voice filled with awe, his hot fingers still sending out waves of emotion to her entire body. Kim choked down a sob and smiled into his lips, pressing them closer for another kiss, losing herself in him and showing him just how torn apart she was.

Jack and Kim loved each other, yes-but they're first kiss wasn't filled with love.

It was filled with a carnal and blatant need, a longing, a passion that they only felt with each other-Jack and Kim were just feeding each other portions of who they were, and in that moment, they truly were one. They were one person filled with want and flame and the need to drown their sorrows, and until they finally spoke up for their feelings, it would have to be enough.

It had to be.


	2. Beanies and Passion

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

"Since you're all responsible adults, we trust you all to conduct yourselves with decorum and not do anything scandalous; this is Seaford High's first annual lock-in and we want things to go smoothly…"

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

"Mr. Tanner and Ms. Appelbaum have volunteered to watch you guys all night long-remember, this is from six to 10 tomorrow morning. All of the toilets will be working, and Milton Krupnick, your president, will be accepting the pizzas from the pizza guy around ten so you won't starve…"

_Drip. Drip. Drip._

"After all, I'm sure this rain will let up soon, and don't forget that the edge of the auditorium is experiencing a slight dripping problem, as you can tell. See you all at six! Dismissed."

"Yo, this is ridiculously swag, guys. A school lock in? Wait 'til I tell cousin Alejandro!" Jerry's dark eyes were practically glowing with excitement, bouncing on the balls of his feet and looking like the epitome of a Spaniard high on excitement.

Eddie rolled his eyes, sitting down with a plop on Kim's couch, his duffel bag in a squishing, purple pile at his feet. The gang was packing for the lock in together, everyone gathering at Kim's house so they could carpool to the school. Jerry was crazy with excitement, Eddie was sullen that he had to spend a night away from his mom, Milton and Julie were psyched, and Jack and Kim were…awkward. Each homeroom was separated into groups of six for a project, and the guys were just lucky enough to be in the same group. Their project was to see if the gadget that Milton had developed over the summer really, and truly read human emotions.

Jack and Kim still hadn't recovered from that late night kiss at Thanksgiving. It was something that had changed a lot of things between them, and they were scared, aware of what it could do to their friendship. Kim was terrified of losing her best friend because of a kiss that _she _had initiated, and Jack was afraid that the night was fluke and Kim had not feelings for him.

Jack did felt a little guilty for obsessing over it, because he had a bigger problem.

His parents were arguing. Loudly. Every night, after he went to bed, he could hear them going at it, ripping a void in the entire families relationship. Kim's family was already messed up, but Jack's was breaking, and he wasn't telling anyone. It was better this way, he decided. No one needed all that stress on them.

**Julie**

"Milty, did you bring the Emoreader?" Julie asked, pushing her glasses up with a finger, smiling brightly at her boyfriend. Julie was totally cool with the whole thing, and being one of the only girl friends that Kim had, was trying to break the tension. She knew what Kim and Jack had done, and wished them the best.

After all, Julie had her happy ending. She only wished the same for Kim-if only the blonde and the brunette weren't so _complicated_. If only.

The ginger shook his head yes, fishing a beanie looking object out of his plaid backpack. It looked like a normal, grey beanie, and it was true; sort of. Thin copper wire and small transmitters had been knitted into the hat, and it was programmed to send signals to Milton's tinkered-with iPad. Personally, Julie trusted Milton with all her heart and soul that it would work, but Eddie was relatively suspicious. Jerry was convinced that it would turn him into a robot (which he was totally fine with) Jack just looked at it with curiosity, and Kim waited to pass judgment. Milton wasn't usually wrong.

Jack slung his green camo backpack on one shoulder and Kim's splotchy grey canvas bag on the other one, despite her glared protests. The tall brunette was wearing a three quarter length light green skirt, the buttons at the top undone, the fabric sticking to his skin and hinting at the six pack Milton had told Julie that Jack had. Navy blue jeans clung to his hips, and Jack's feet wore his favorite pair of black Supra's. A hoodie the same color as his shoes was wrapped around his waist, and his hair swooped near the ears to fan out gracefully at the neck, an accidental style that came from a bad trip to the barbers (Milton admitted to her that it had been nasty) but still damp from a recent shower, covered by a navy blue and white zigzag pattern. Jack looked apprehensive, but determined.

Something was going to go down with him tonight, Julie could tell.

Kim's brown eyes weren't the same happy Hershey Kiss color they usually were, and now they held a sort of ice tea glow. Her family life was much better than it had been, but she was still healing. She was dressed in a blue and white striped long-sleeved button down with a pair of nice fitting khaki jeans that Julie swore made her butt look good. Kim' feet were clad in ankle high Indian boots, and a white-washed black hoodie hung delicately on her shoulder. Due to the way that the sleeves were too long, and it looked to be made for someone with broader shoulders, Julie guessed that the jacket had been a guys-probably Jack's. Kim's golden hair was in a high ponytail, the curls shining softly in the lamp light, strands tickling her cheek.

Kim looked apprehensive, and tough, and Julie knew why. Kim knew Jack much more than Julie did, and she had an idea of what Jack might be planning.

It was going to be an interesting night, that's for sure.

**Kim**

"I can carry my own bag, Jack."

No one could hear us talking. Eddie was simultaneously eating a Hotpocket and debating Julie on whether or not it increased his chances of heart attack in the middle two seats, Jerry was in the passenger seat, happily messing with the radio and singing along to the Spanish songs blasting over the speakers, and Milton was sitting on the left end of the back three seats with Jack and I, a pair of earphones on his head, staring ferociously at the iPad, totally zoning out. Jack's leg was uncomfortably warm against mine in the seat and I could feel the heat coming from his skin in the black car. His hand was so near to mine I could hold it if I reached out a little bit, and somehow, I felt like I needed to talk to him. Possibly it was because I didn't want to go crazy before we even to school, but the words came out strongly, and for that I was proud.

Jack sighed and fidgeted a bit in the seat. Giving up, he reached over me, making me duck, and settled his arm on the back of my seat.

He didn't even yawn.

"It's a matter of chivalry, Kim." Jack sighed, shifting a little bit more. I could've sworn he was closer than before, but maybe it's just me. I'm a little claustrophobic. "You have to let me do something." He smirked a little, the light from Milton's iPad throwing strange, soft shadows on his face that still made him look handsome, damn him.

"I'm not a damsel in distress!" I hissed stubbornly, folding my arms as Jerry launched into the second chorus of what I was pretty sure was Feliz Navidad. Come on people! It's the _first _week of December. Have a little decorum.

Jack shrugged as best he could. "No matter what you say Kim, I won't stop helping you." Our eyes locked in the darkness and I struggled to breathe, his apple cider eyes burning a hole through my heart. He reached out and touched my cheek with the back of the hand that wasn't around my shoulders, the feeling as soft as a birds feathers. It was gentle and sweet, something I didn't think Jack was capable of, and I leaned in a little bit, closing my eyes and sighing. "I will never stop helping you, or being there for you," Jack husked, and for a split second I swore he was going to kiss me in the dark of my mom's van-

"YO, DOGS! WE'RE HERE!"

Jerry's voice ruined the moment and Jack pulled away, the smallest movement in the hustle and bustle of the now loud _and_ motion filled car. His mouth formed a synonym for crap that I couldn't distinguish from Jerry's Columbian war chant and Milton's plea's for quiet or we'd 'ruin the Emoreader' and Jack rubbed a hand across his eyes as Milton pushed past him out of the car.

"Come on, Princess," he said playfully, stooping down and crawling out of the car, holding out a hand for me. "We've got some work to do."

**Jack**

"Milton, you're one of my best friends and all, but there's no way I'm putting that thing on my head."

Kim's arms were folded more tightly than ever, and her beautiful eyes had that determined, not-on-my-watch look in it that I knew so well. The pulsing beat of 'Chasing the Sun' by The Wanted, one of Kim's, and surprisingly enough Jerry's, favorite bands, made the air in our half of the classroom seem super charged with energy, and Milton was going out of his mind with frustration.

"Come on, Kim! I need someone to try it out on!" he pleaded, hands poised above the iPad, standing in front of a complicated, scientific diagram with his girlfriend.

"Nuh-uh." Kim denied, shuffling over a bit on the desk top to make room for Eddie, who had a Twizzler poking out of his mouth. "I will wear this thing when hell freezes over."

Eddie's eyes widened. "My mom promised that it's going to happen!" The African American kid insisted, waving his hands around. "When the polar ice caps melt, the snow is going to drip down to H-E-double hockey sticks, and then it's going to form this cover that will-" He caught the confused looks coming from Milton, Julie, Kim and me, and stopped abruptly. "Never mind." Eddie said sullenly.

Kim shook herself off. "Either way," she finalized, patting Eddie's arm softly in consolation, "I'm not wearing that."

I pushed myself off of the window seat and came to her, arms outraised. "Aw, just think about it Kim." I told her, grinning. I tapped her nose like I had when the baby hawks had ruined her hair that day this past summer and placed my hands on her arms, rubbing them a bit when I felt how cold she was. "I think you'd look pretty cute in a beanie."

Almost despite herself, Kim bit her lip and smiled at me, and I was struck yet again by how beautiful she was she smiled. I frowned inwardly at the realization that Kim didn't smile much anymore. "Here," I amended, reaching up and taking off my own beanie. I turned her shoulders gently and pulled the ponytail holder out of her hair, letting the golden locks that I loved so much spill over her shoulders. Messing with the ends of the glimmering waterfall, I delicately placed the blue and white beanie on Kim's head, turning her around again to make sure it looked right.

A shock went through my heart when I processed how Kim was looking at me, with big, beautiful, doe eyes filled with a sort of vulnerability that I realized only stood out at times like this, when we were so close that despite the people around us it seemed to be just Kim in I, in our own protective bubble where we couldn't hide anything from each other and we weren't trying to hide from another.

Jerry's snicker brought me back, and I shook myself, tugging one last time on the beanie and facing a still frantic but slightly smug Milton. "Fine!" I grumbled, throwing up my hands and plopping down on the nearby stool. "I'll do your stupid test."

Julie grinned and clapped her hands, and Milton's stress lines finally smoothed themselves out as I gave myself up to their hopefully capable hands, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from Kim, even as Milton put the electrically altered beanie on my head. Said princess was blushing slightly while letting her hair hide her face, a smile creeping its way onto her face. Kim looked like an adorable bunny rabbit, and that fact alone made me grin.

"Jack, you're sending out tremendous readings…" Milton mumbled, fingers moving like crazy over the iPad. "Whatever emotion you're experience sure is strong…its blocking out anything else you might be feeling."

Jerry, who'd been dancing mindlessly to The Wanted, brightened at this and finally came over, a mischievous look in his eyes as he leaned over Milton's shoulder. "Everything?" he confirmed, and Milton nodded absentmindedly.

Jerry gave a wide smirk at that and bounced over to me. "Hi-yah!" he yelled, trying to karate chop my stomach, but there was one thing he hadn't accounted on-my reflexes. Without breaking a sweat or my concentration on the blonde haired beauty currently ignoring Julie's whispered questions, I flipped the Spaniard onto his back, and onto the floor.

"Shit, Jerry, I'm sorry," I told him belatedly as his 'Woo!' turned into a pained 'Ooo.'

"Naw, man, it's okay." Jerry grumbled, staggering up and limping to join Eddie in finishing off a bag of Doritos. "Debería haber sabido que no iba a funcionar..." He muttered to himself, and I rolled my eyes. Him and his Spanish, I'm telling you.

"Jack!" Milton's tone was somewhat urgent, so I got off the stool and came around to his side of the iPad. I had a few inches over the skinny ginger, so I could see what the readings were.

In blocky, computer script it read:

Current mood: **Infatuated, Passionate Yearning**

"Milton Daniel Krupnick, what the hell does that mean?" I spluttered, gesturing at the screen, desperate to find out why my friends face was redder than usual.

"Um…" Milton scratched his neck. "This whole phrase is a computers way of saying…" he motioned at my ear desperately, and I had to force myself to stop rolling my eyes. I leaned my ear in his direction, and he cupped his hands around my ear, whispering softly. "It's basically saying that you're pretty lustful right now."

I jerked away from him, my own face as pale as the snow drifting its way to the ground outside. "Erase that!" I yelled at him, and Milton hurriedly did just that, just as I yanked the cap off. "I don't think that really works, _Milton_," I growled out pointedly, and proceeded to stomp away from him.

Lust? At who?

_KIM._

The answer came from that tiny perverted part of my mind that I tried to shut up so many times, but this time it was right. I wanted to kiss Kim. Badly enough that some stupid wires figured that out.

Why the hell was I lusting over Kim when my own family life was so messed up right now?

My body doing things I had no control over, I walked to the still blushing Kim. "Can I talk to you for a second?" I husked at her. "Outside?"

Kim's eyes shuttered and suddenly they were guarded again. "Okay…?" she said warily, and I followed her out the door, fighting the red warmth creeping at the edges of my vision centering itself on Kim.

I swear the way that her hips were swinging was doing things to me that I didn't want to admit.

When Kim stopped walking, unsure where to go, I grabbed her hand and towed her behind me, searching for a place that wasn't filled was people, before my eyes lit on a very welcome door; janitors closet. I ripped open the door, and then shielded my eyes and Kim's at the couple already halfway to making babies.

"Get your own closet!" I growled at them, and both kids fled, flustered and trailing various articles of clothing.

Dear God, please grant me some control. I don't want to force this, but _Goddammit _she was just so sexy without trying. Kimberly Crawford is her own kind of tease, and it turned me on some kind of fierce. I dragged Kim inside and closed the doors behind me, my eyes trained on hers. Kim was confused and all around wary as she took in the way I was looking at her.

"Jack?" she tentatively whispered. "What did you want to say?"

**Kim**

The look in Jack's eyes was both exciting and scaring me.

His hands had a slight tremble to them as the roughly closed the door behind us and I couldn't the see the apple cider color of his eyes because it was swallowed by the deep, endless black of his pupil. I could've sworn that the door locked and he slipped the key in his pocket, but I was so confuzzled I really couldn't say.

"Jack?" I whispered desperately, and Jack closed his eyes hard, his finger slipping over the light switch and plunging us into the same kind of darkness that covered the world outside.

"I'm so sorry Kim," he muttered, his hands coming from nowhere to trail they're way up my neck and towards my face, Jack's fingers the same kind of hot that they'd been in the dojo that day that seemed so long ago right now. "I see you, and sometimes, I can't control the way I respond but today, for the first time-"

My back hit the empty wall, a movement that I barely processed as Jack stared at me, his lips whisper soft on my jaw line.

"For the first time, Kim," he said tenderly, nose tickling the tiny strands of hair next to my ears, my eyes closing as I gasped, trying to breathe. "I feel like if I do this," I had a vague idea that he indicating the way that the walls seemed to pulse and I couldn't register anything but the way Jack's hands _burned_ me as the touched the buttons on my shirt and the raging, fire hot feelings that followed the path Jack's lips took down my neck, "you won't push me away." Jack finished, and he slammed his lips on mine, hands still roving like a lost, very dirty puppy.

_Oh gods._

I think the janitors closet is made out of stars.

**Hey guys.**

**OMIGOSH. You guys...this is my first story on . The response was overwhelming!**

**I feel like part of a huge family! This is unbelievable! I got the emails dinging in my iPod during free period and I got such a golden, tingly happy feeling in the pit of my stomach... XP my friends thought I was crazy, lol.**

**paint the roses red: Glad you thought so! Took a bit to write, a lot of time and effort went into that. **

**ilovesports999: Stop! I'm blushing! :)**

**JasmineLief: Thats what I'm doing! Sorry about all the family trauma I'm putting into this, by the way. I have a great family relationship but somehow in the darkest pits of my mind I divorce people...? I must have something wrong with me. ;P**

**LoveShipper: I died laughing when I saw that. Literally, it made my day. Guess this one was steamy, and it wasn't the lunch meat... ;)**

**Jamieluvslife: I do what I can! :P**

**kyiomi: Will do! :)**

**LiveYourPassions: Glad you thought so!**

**toughwolf2227: I swear, I never get this many compliments. :D A lot of emotions went into this too...mostly from procrastination. ;D**

**Hope you all love this too! Wasted about four hours on it _ yay procrastination!**

**Love,**

**Lil**


	3. Songs and Confessions

**WOWZA. You all gave me so many reviews I'm going to do half of them here, above the chapter, and then the other half below, alright?**

**SwiftStar1: Thank you! My teacher didn't think so. ;)**

**kyiomi: Omigods, I literally died when I read that. I don't think I'm THAT good, sheeshies! *blush***

**DontMessWithADreamer: Thanks so much!**

**alinging street lights: Love your usernames, and you people, I'm already as red as a tomato! GAH! :D**

**Wolfprincess99: Alright! I'm doing it, I'm doing it!**

**ilovesports1999: 'It was frickin genius!' I love your choice of words there. :)**

**chey1235: Will doooo! **

**sadielove2: LOVE your picture! And this is the last part so, YAY!**

**LiveYourPassions: Its a-comin!**

**Okay, onto the last chappie. :D **

**Hope y'all lovelies enjoy! I started it a little differently than usual...**

* * *

****You're invited to:

Jospehine Esmerelda Selene Dominica Caroline Fredrico;

's Quinceanara!

Date: December 17, 2012

Time: 6-11 PM

Place: Rivermore Caterring, Seaford California (for more details ask Jerry Martinez)

Hope to see you there!

(bring presents)

Love,

The Martinez-Fredrico-Lopez Family

* * *

"Fifteen days, Julie."

"I know."

_"It's been fifteen days since Jack left on that damned family trip."_

"Kim! Language!"

"When is he going to back, Julie! _WHEN? I can't take this anymore! He just left me, left me alone, in the cold, in the dark, without him-_

_WITHOUT HIM, JULIE."_

"Sh, shhhh. I know Kim. I know."

_"Why the hell does it hurt so much?"_

__"I don't know, Kim."

"I can't decide if I want him to come back or _stay the fuck away._"

"Language, dearie."

"..."

"Are you going to Jerry's cousins thing?"

"...the Quincenara?"

"Yeah."

"...I guess. Why?"

"You need the distraction."

"But I...yeah. You're right. I'll go."

* * *

_Jack: Kim? [4:20 PM]_

_Jack: Kim, I'm coming home. [4:20 PM]_

_Kim: NOW you text me? What the fucking hell, Jack?[4:21 PM]_

_Jack: I'm so sorry, Kim. Give me a chance to explain? [4:22 PM]_

_Kim: Go to hell. I hate you. [4:23 PM]_

_Kim: Do you even fucking REALIZE what we did? [4:23 PM]_

_Jack: I'm sorry, Kim, if I had known that we were going to do what we did, I would've told my dad to postpone it, but. [4:24 PM]_

_Kim: ...You couldn't have stayed home? [4:24 PM]_

_Kim: What am I saying. Stay the hell away. [4:24]_

_Jack: KIM. I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU. GIVE ME A CHANCE TO SAY SOMETHING. [4:24 PM]_

_Contact: KIM CRAWFORD is writing a response_

_Contact: JACKSON BREWER is calling Contact: KIM CRAWFORD_

_Call denied._

_Kim: Jerry invited us to a ball-thing this weekend, Jackass. [4:25 PM]_

_Kim: If you're going to be there, you can talk to me then. [4:25 PM]_

_Kim: Maybe. You douche. [4:25 PM]_

_Jack: What color? [4:26 PM]_

_Kim: What? [4:26 PM]_

_Jack: What color dress are you wearing? [4:27 PM]_

_Kim: Dark blue purplish. Indigo, I guess. Why do you ask? [4:27 PM]_

_Jack: See you Kim. And remember, I'm so, so sorry... [4:28 PM]_

_Jack: And I'll always be there for you. [4:28 PM]_

* * *

"This is great, Jerry. I mean, really great."

My voice came out a little higher than expected, but I guess that's because I was really surprised. Whenever we end up going to one of Jerry's little 'gatherings' its usually at a dingy place that thugs could hang out at, with way too many people and too many hugs; normally, the only thing redeeming the whole affair was the spectacular food we'd always end up consuming. This place was certainly a step up.

The affair was held at an old, converted Catholic cathedral, with truly beautiful architecture and gorgeous stained glass windows and balconies. The entryway was a spectacular, swooping staircase, and striking red, green, white, and black draperies and accents really put a partygoer in the Christmas spirit. The food was delicious and served as a buffet, and the place that the priest would usually preach had been converted into a stage for the alternating bands.

"Thanks, Kim," Jerry grinned, thumbs in the belt loops of his tuxedo pants, suit jacket open to reveal the silver vest and neon, silk gold tie that he donned to match the equally startling fedora on his head. Another thing I hadn't realized, and that Jerry hadn't told us, was the fact that the ball was a masquerade. Of course, it was a pleasant surprise, but his mask was very…disconcerting. It was a half-face mask in gold and silver checkered, but who was I to complain-the ladies sure loved it.

Speaking of lady killers-I never would have believed it, but Eddie was finally doing the whole 'player' thing he'd trying to accomplish for as long as we all could remember. The white tux he was wearing slimmed him down significantly and the grey, Phantom-of-the-Opera-like mask he was wearing had the same era of mystery that bowled girls over like no one's business.

Milton and Julie were spic and span in matching blue outfits, Julie wearing a floor length halter neck gown swooped like Belle's and Milton in a navy blue, tuxedoed ensemble that though clearly dated, still had that old fashioned charm. Julie's ginger-brown hair shone in a chignon that I can proudly say I managed to slap together myself and her boyfriend's hair was cut short, a new style for him that really worked, I must say.

He must have the same trouble at the barbers that Jack has.

_Jack_.

I still hadn't seen him yet. It was wrong of him to leave me like he did, after how far we went in that heated room; I'm telling you I will never look at that closet the same way again.

"Kim, you look great!" Julie enthused, motioning to the dress I had donned myself after a good shopping stint with said girl. "I'm sure Jack is feeling bad about missing this." She smiled. "Heaven knows you don't wear dresses too often."

I blushed and gave a little spin. I was dressed, well, to impress. Julie had squealed like a little child when I brought the dress to her, and something in me was really ecstatic that I had finally gotten a dress that I liked. It was the same indigo-purply color that I had told Jack about, made up of a bodice and skirt. The top was strapless, with a shimmery silk heart dipped neckline that stopped right underneath of my bra with a mass of artfully arranged rhinestones decorated like a tiara on my waist, announcing the beginning of a tulled, waved skirt that rustled when I moved. My heels were the same indigo color as the dress, platform with peep toes, and my hair fell over my shoulders like a curly waterfall, the golden strands sparkling with the glitter that Julie had thrown in it last minute. My mask was as white as the fallen snow outside, a handmade piece that was styled just like wrought iron on my face, masking my mascara'd brown eyes.

Despite how pretty everyone told me I looked, and the looks that all the guys seemed to be giving me, I was doubtful of my own appearance. My chief supporter wasn't there to assure me.

* * *

**~flashback~**

_"Omigods, guys." I eyed myself in the mirror distastefully, turning back and forth to look at myself in the mirror, frowning at the reflection. "I look like a piece of shit that the dogs rejected."_

_The dress was a mauve, bubbly sort of thing that made me look fat and washed out my skin, as well as managing to my hair like weak and as ugly as straw._

_Only an outfit my mother could have picked out._

_Julie had a horror-stricken look on her face, Milton had fainted due to shock, and Jack was laughing so hard his face was turning red and you couldn't see his eyes, his laugh lines were so pronounced._

_"Kim, before you ask, that dress makes you look fat," Jack chuckled, wiping the tears from his eyes as his face went from tomato red to washed out ketchup. "What kind of sicko thinks that would look nice on anybody?"_

_I crossed my arms and glared at the reflection. "The damn idiots who made it," I grumbled, and Jack laughed again, getting up while shielding his eyes._

_"I know I suck at this, but let me give it a go," he husked, a smile still lingering on his face, fingers grasping the price tag to lift it up to his shielded coffee brown eyes. His hair was a sexily messy as ever and I cursed all the clothes deities in hell for making a plain white v-neck and brown white-washed jeans look good on him. Jack had sort of gotten dragged into this whole dress choosing thing for Jerry's cousins Quinceanara (see! I told you we get dragged into these things too often!) and although finding a casual dress as Seaford Mall's resident dress shop was looking bleak, Jack had gotten a good laugh at every fucking dress I put on._

_Damn him._

_Ten minutes later, a still grinning Jack handed me a slip of green and white fabric, his hair ruffled at the ears from searching through the dress racks._  
_I eyed it dubiously as Julie fanned a still-shocked Milton into recovery, taking it from him like a brand new lion tamer picks up a whip. "You sure?" I asked him, eyes scanning the normal looking article of clothing, relieved it wasn't hot pink, super short, or revealing everything like a few I'd tried on beforehand._

_Jack shrugged. "Give it a go."_

_"Okay," I agreed, and courageously reached out, smoothing the ruffled hair so close to the identical moles that I adored so much. "Your hair was mussed." I explained, blushing, taking the dress from him and dashing to the changing rooms._

_Gods he's so hot._

_Slipping on the dress, I came out once more to face my friends and Milton got out a "HOLY CHRISTMAS-" before fainting again, this time from happiness or horror I couldn't tell._

_"Kim you look like a freaking angel!" Julie shrieked happily and I flushed once more, twirling for the mirror._

_The dress was touched my calves in the back and the top of my knees in the front, a glorious white dotted with emerald green with large sleeves that encompassed my hands and made me feel medieval. The square neckline and drawstring waist emphasized what little curves I possessed, and put it simply, was perfect._

_Jack was leaning against the dreamy couch that the happy couple was sitting on, arms crossed so the muscles in his biceps bulged (DAMN HIM!) and a satisfied look on his handsome face. The black backwards basketball cap on his head did nothing to hide the huge smile he was sporting, and I gave Jack another twirl for confirmation._

_"Well?" I asked, stepping down from the pedestal, ready to whisk myself into the changing rooms again to put back on my longed for t-shirt and skinnies. "Do I look like a dropout from an unproduced Audrey Hepburn movie?"_

_"Naw," Jack murmured, coming closer and tweaking a few things on my dress like he seemed to be doing more often than friendly necessary recently. "Julie's right. You do look like a angel."_

_"Thanks Jack-"_

_"A dying nineteen twenties one!" he jabbed, and just like that I was after him, screaming bloody murder._

_Damn him and his good dress picking._

* * *

"KIM!" Shaking out of the reverie, I nervously smiled at a flustered Eddie, stuffing his face with-tuna rolls? "You were out of it again."

I sighed. "Sorry Eddie."

The kid, the youngest and undoubtedly the cutest of us, just shrugged and resumed his fishy treat. "Wasn't important anyway."

Rolling my eyes I searched Jerry's cousin out from the crowd, wondering what she was doing as she pushed through the four person band on the stage, heading for

the microphone and motioning for the deejay to stop 'Firework' by Katy Perry.

"Hello?" the pretty Latino called, tapping on the mike to get everyone's attention. Once she had done so, she smiled happily at the crowd. "Not to interrupt everyone's partying, but we have a special request!" The crowd wooed, not as well or as loud at the "WHOO!" that came from our one and only dancing friend.

"Anyway," the cousin continued. "One lucky person will be allowed to sing a song with our live band! Everyone clap for Lighting, and special guest, um, Michael Brewer!" The band, all guys with a very attractive one on electric guitar, waved as the crowd willingly applauded for them. It struck me that it was kind of weird that the guitarist, Michael Brewer, had the same last name as Jack, but I let it pass. My hearts too sore to be drawing random conclusions.

Jack didn't come, and I should accept that.

No matter how much that lovemaking had seemed to mean to me, it obviously meant nothing to Jack.

He left my heart broken, and that's the way he seems to want it to be.

Damn him.

"…come on, guys! Raise your hands!" Jerry, smirking knowingly, appeared from nowhere and lifted the hand not occupied with sipping some punch that I'm positive might've been spiked with some grapefruit juice. That sour tang was not natural.

Jerry's cousin, smiling gleefully in that suspicious way that Rudy tends to do when Tip-Tips vomited in someone's locker, pointed directly at me. "Kim Crawford! You're the lucky girl!"

Wait, what?

"Go on up there, girl!" Jerry instructed, ignoring the 'What the hell?' look on my face and forcibly shoving me towards the stage. "Show them what your made of!" his face got serious. "Just do my favor, and don't. Under any conditions. Dance."

* * *

**~flashback~**

_"Whoa, whoa, whoa." Jerry had a terrified look on his face and he jumped off the stack of practice mats and came over to me. It was still early in our friendship, but he was as frank as ever when he said. "What d'ya call that!"_

_I folded my arms at him defiantly. "Uh, dancing." Jerry obviously didn't know what real dancing was._

_"Uh, uh, uh, uh, UH." Eddie's hands were placed in front of him as if to stop me from dancing again. "That was not dancing. That was a crime AGAINST dancing."_

**~flashback~**

* * *

"So Kim, what are you going to sing?" Jerry's cousin was even prettier up close than far away, and her smile was almost blinding at close range.

"Uh, maybe-"

"Perfect!" she grinned. "You're singing 'Battlefield' by Jordin Sparks."

I shrugged and approached the microphone, taking it down and clearing my throat at the cousin stepped daintily off the stage. Singing I could do.  
Michael, the guitarist, walked closer to me, holding his black and white electric guitar like it was a treasure, a smirk on his face that was entirely to much like de ja vu for me to comfortable with it. Finally close to enough to actually see him, I appraised his outfit; he was wearing a deep, royal blue dress shirt with the sleeves cuffed up to his elbows, the first two buttons undone, a black vest hanging open on his taller frame. His hair was a chestnut brown that swooped near the ears (Omigods, whats with him? He's so familiar…) and his mask was as ornate as mine, but in a darker, more thorny style than my soft swoops, a black color matching the color of his Supra's and dress pants.

"You ready for this?" he whispered to me, plucking out a few tunes with a white pick, glittering eyes to far in the recesses of the mask for me to see the color.

I grinned easily at him, unhooking the microphone from the stand and moving around a bit to warm up. "Yeah. I don't know the song, but I know the singer."

Michael shrugged and murmured. "Kill it, shawty," then faded back into his usual place in front of the drummer, faced away from me.

Before I could fully process how much Michael looked like Jack (FINALLY placed it, thank goodness), the music started, a thick drumbeat from the musician behind the percussion instruments.

The words, golden, straight font against a black background, scrolled on a TV screen to the left and right of me, and I opened my mouth and sang to the opening line of a pianos keys.

"Don't try to explain your mind  
I know what's happening here  
One minute it's love  
And suddenly it's like a battlefield.

One word turns into a war  
Why is it the smallest things that tear us down  
My world's nothing with you gone,  
I'm not here without a shield  
Can't go back now

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing  
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again  
Why we gotta fall for it now!"

A few of Jerry's cousins guests were hooting a bit, liking my voice, and I fought down a blush, continuing singing, putting more feeling into the lyrics as I listened for the over all tone of the song. It seemed violent, unsure, heartbroken, defensive, and lonely all at once.

Kind of like me.

"I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)  
Why does love always feel like…"

Jordin Sparks was a phenomenal singer, yes, but it was like she was my own personal psychiatrist right now.

This, was currently Jack and I's relationship.

It had become a battlefield, with ammunition and soldiers, and hiatuses, with our friends the neutral parties just trying to stop the civil war.

With that realization, I poured even more into the song, loving the feel of the words in my vocal chords, relishing the crowds reaction, letting the electric guitar, piano, drums, and random violin sweep me away with the feelings that rose out my heart, out of soul to tell the world what I couldn't do on my own.

"Can't swallow our pride,  
Neither of us wanna raise that flag, mhmm  
If we can't surrender then we both gonna lose what we had, oh no

Both hands tied behind my back with nothing  
Oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again  
I don't wanna fall for it now  
I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor  
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor  
I guess you better go and get your...

We could pretend that we are friends tonight (oh-oh-oh)  
And in the morning we'll wake up and we'll be alright  
Cause baby we don't have to fight  
And I don't want this love to feel like..

A battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield,  
Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield

I guess you better go and get your armor...

I never meant to start a war  
You know I never wanna hurt you  
Don't even know what we're fighting for (fighting, fighting for)

Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? (x2)

I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor  
I guess you better go and get your armor, (get your armor) get your armor

Why does love always feel like...  
Why does love always feel like...  
A battlefield, a battlefield..

I never meant  
to start a war  
Don't even know  
What we're fighting for…"

With the conclusion of the song, the crowd burst into applause a few wolf whistles piercing the sound of hands being slapped together in excitement, and as red as a fire engine, I curtsied and prepared to step of the stage.

Damn you Jack, for missing that performance.

You could have _learned_ something, you douche bag.

"Ms. Crawford!" Jerry's cousin (dammit I'm going to have to learn her name) rushed back up onstage with a chair. "Ms. Crawford, we'd like to ask you to stay seated on stage for the next song if you don't mind." With that, she practically forced me down onto the chair and sprinted merrily to the mike again. "Correction, everyone!" she yelled. "Jerry's just told me that the lead guitarist is actually Jack Brewer, my bad. He and Lighting are about to do one last song before Jack retires for the night! And now, without further ado, 'Kiss Me' by Ed Sheeran!"

Shell-shocked, I stared at Jack as Jerry's cousin (I'm just gonna call her Sam) ran off stage once more, and the brunette waved once at the crowd, adjusted the microphone, and cleared his throat.

"This is a solo piece, going out to my best friend." He husked into the mike, the pianist, and violinist settling in as if knowing that the next song only had an electric guitar and drum in it. "I just wanted to say that, well…I'm sorry."

"I love the way you yell at the TV set when your favorite singer doesn't win at American Idol, the way you know the lyrics to every song you've ever heard, the weird way you dance and the way that you hate English even though you're freakishly good at it. I love the way you can never decide whether of not to keep your hair naturally curly or straight, and your insecurity whenever you have to babysit. I love your badass personality and the special way you threw that doll haired loser across the room, even though he broke your fan girl heart. I love the way you're not afraid to lose at karate, and give everything your all, from helping us sell chocolate balls to trying to stop Rudy from ruining Shakespeare. I love the way your eyes light up when you're doing something you love and the smile you get on your face when your embarrassed and are afraid that you read too deeply into peoples actions. I love the way you hate and love chivalry at the same time, and can manage to beat the stuffing out of the training dummies at the dojo even when your heart is facing so much turmoil its almost inside out. I love the way you kiss me, like you're pouring your entire soul into that one kiss, as if I'm the only thing holding you to the earth. I love the way your cheek felt against my chest in that closet a few weeks ago, I love the way you always end up falling asleep on movie nights and curling into me even though I never tell you. I love the way your hair feels when I run my hands through it, and the little noises you make when you've eaten too much and I end up carrying you to bed because you fall asleep in the middle of studying. I love the way that you keep pushing on no matter what pushes you down, and I love the way that you now love beanies because of that one December experiment." Jack ran a hand awkwardly through his hair, and the crowd gave a unanimous look of approval for him to finish. "What I'm trying to say Kim, is that through it all, I've always loved you. Yes, I realize I was a total dick to take your v-card," he swept a hand at the audience. "you all didn't hear that, but I hate the fact that I left you all alone to go on trip and only texted you this past Wednesday." He took a shuddering breath. "This song is for you, Kim. And if you're willing to accept it, my heart goes with it."  
He strummed a chord, a loud but poignant note in the now totally silent cathedral-turned-party place and in a low, husky voice, began to sing.

"Settle down with me  
Cover me up  
Cuddle me in

Lie down with me  
And hold me in your arms

And your heart's against my chest, your lips pressed in my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved."

His voice was calm but heartbreaking, holding as much emotion as mine had, but with a much more vulnerable quality.

"This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love

Settle down with me  
And I'll be your safety  
You'll be my lady

I was made to keep your body warm  
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms."

I could feel the tears slide leisurely down my cheeks, but all I could do was stare at Jack, my Jack, sing to me, in front of what seemed like a million people.

"Oh no  
My heart's against your chest, your lips pressed in my neck  
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet  
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love."

He paused singing to do the musical interlude and my legs trembling I slowly stood up and made my way towards him, heart shivering.

"Yeah, I've been feeling everything  
From hate to love  
From love to lust  
From lust to truth  
I guess that's how I know you  
So I hold you close to help you give it up

So kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love

Kiss me like you wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
You wanna be loved  
This feels like falling in love  
Falling in love  
We're falling in love."

His voice broke on the last note, and as the last chord rang through the room he removed the guitar from around his waist and turned to me, the mocha eyes that I loved so much glittering with what looked like tears.

"Kim?" Jack whispered, utterly spent just as I'd been that night in the janitors closet, his arms held out with a fear that I thought I only felt.

Breaking into sobs, I flung myself at him, and he cuddled me close, cooing to me and rocking my back and forth, running his hands through my curls, bodies shaking together.

"It's okay." Jack murmured to me as I drew my head back from his now tear streaked shirt, hands just as hot as I loved, taking the mask from my eyes and his own from his eyes so we could take in each others faces, search each other for the feelings we knew each other to have.

"Jack?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you. And I forgive you. Now kiss me?"

And finally, the crowd cheered.

* * *

**Okay! A few more reviews, and then I've got a few things to say...**

**GlitterGirl123: ADORE YOUR CHOICE OF WORDS. Going to change that right now. ;) I love educational reviews.**

**Sup & Guest: Glad you think so!**

**WeShallConquerxo: Really? *blushes heavily* Aw, shucks...**

**Lily: No, I'm not yet ready for the real hot-n-heavy stuff yet. It sort of tells you what went down in this chapter, though, so I hope thats enough...I love writing make-out scenes though. For a virgin, I think I'm pretty good at it. ;D**

**Guest: I love that episode! The Emoreader idea DID come from that actually, but Jack and Kim took the reins from me from then on. This whole thing was originally a one-short, then a two-shot, and finally a three...I used to many words to finally tie up the ends, but I think it was worth it. :)**

**paint the roses red: Well here it is! Hope ya likes it. ;)**

**Guest: Ya really think so? Y'alls just too kind... X)**

**ima5er4life: No! Wait! Come back! *catches the blown-away reviewer* Okay then. Much better. ;D**

**NOW THEN.**

**This chapter literally took me a week to write. I had no idea what the HELL I was going to do with it, until I found out that my schools doing a masquerade for a winter dance.**

**BINGO. :D**

**I had a better beginning, but Microsoft Words literally deleted it and I had to write it on the fly tonight. **

**Hope y'all liked the flashbacks. Good ol' Kickin' It times.**

**AGAIN I apologize for the bad language, but Kim seems to be that one girl who'd be broken on the inside and tough as rock on the outside. I hoped I wasn't to OC. **

**As stories go, this pleasantly suprised me. So. Do you guys think I should write some more? ;)**

**If so, choose one:**

**Forwood**

**Delena**

**Good Luck Charlie (Spencer/Teddy)**

**or**

**Clintasha (Clint/Natasha) from Avengers**

**Love you all to pieces and from the moon and back!**

**Lil**


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